When I was younger I was absorbed in myself and didn’t know others.
My ego was such a big aspect in my life, it was my best friend. It would protect me from the horrors of life, so much so that I seemed blind to the workings of others. People were such a mystery. When I pressed a particular button the oddity of responses was bewildering.
Confidence on the other hand was a gentler and more forgiving friend over ego. Confidence comes from having done the same or similar thing in the past and experienced a particular positive outcome. We then trade on that past experience in the hope of another net gain. The ego is working blind and without a reference point, confidence at least has some worthwhile input.
One way I found to get to know others was to get to know myself first and attempt at least to sideline that imposter ego. How would I react to a certain situation or to an adverse comment from others. Being mindful of my own reactions, feelings and fears went some way to explain the normal human response of others given similar situations.
Not all people react the same though. Given any particular challenge some get angry because a problem is happening to them and let’s face it “Why me?” I hear them intone. Then there are the more unfortunate quivering wrecks who are simply not equipped to deal with life’s traumas, trials and tribulations. Finally we have those blessed individuals that have a degree of personal understanding and insight. These latter souls are more able to see the world and its workings with a degree of clarity of thought. They look and observe any given situation, seeking with equanimity to describe and assimilate the set of circumstances that have presented themselves. Mindfulness is being practiced and a grounded approach is being experienced with the ego not being at home. Confidence is still lingering, as a person tends to look through the filter of their own past experiences. Try leaving confidence behind as that imposter may tell the wrong tale as well.
Try also to discern every situation as it is and without preconceptions. The laws of nature are there but people are apt to mystify even them. So get to know yourself first and dispense with the ego. Put confidence in its right place. Then you will see others with clarity and be more insightful in your responses to them.
I’m peddling hard and still striving…